Chronicles of An 8th Grade Punk: Right, Left, Right

34

Note: These stories are shown as written many years ago (1974) as an eighth-grader in junior high school. They will remain unedited.

Chapter 1

It all happened in New York City in the year 1960. On Wall Street stood the heavily guarded New York National Bank. Nobody had ever succeeded in robbing this bank. Many successful, dangerous gangs had tried to hold it up, and they would always fail. There was one gang, however, who had never tried to hold up this bank. They were the “X” Organization. They had been in other countries for 5 years robbing banks. They were on the Top 10 wanted list and were the most highly feared bank robbers in the world.

The “X” Organization were staying at an old, broken down hotel in the South Bronx. Jose El Cambre was holding a meeting with the gang. The gang had just flown in from their robbery in North Korea.

“Where the hell is Harlem,” yelled El Cambre.

“”He’s down in the alley working on the jeep!” answered Junior C. Cash.

“Well go get ’em!”

The boss would not be in a good mood until he had that million bucks in his hand. This was a big job and it had to be done right.

Cash and Harlem came in and took a seat.

“All right guys. As you know, we’ve never failed in robbing a bank. That is, foreign banks. But I’m very hesitant about this job.We’ve never robbed an American bank. And besides, this is the biggest bank in the world. Compared to this bank, all the other banks we’ve been robbing are tiny-time. So I want you to be on your best. It will take a long time to plan this robbery. And I want everything to go perfect.”

Mickie Lavender came into the room.

“I’ve finished the map, Boss,” he said. “According to my calculations, Drake and Junior can tunnel in from the snack shop across and down the street. The place was closed down a couple of months ago. Nobody has torn it down or bought it. Junior and Drake can break in every day before sun-up. They can tunnel in a little bit every day.”

“Good work, Mickie,” complimented the boss.

“I never did finish. There are to be two tunnels. Drake will tunnel from the front at the snack shop 30 feet down. He will tunnel to the bank diagonally. This tunnel will be called Dak-Tari. Junior, you will start from the side of the shop, and dig down thirty feet also. You will tunnel under three more buildings until you get to the building directly across from the bank. Then you will tunnel across the street to the bank where you will meet Drake. The reason there are two tunnels is because if one caves in there is still another one to go through.”

“Very well,” said the boss. “Get started in the morning.”

Chapter 2

It was early in the morning, and Drake and Junior had left the hotel to go work on the tunnels. Tic-Tac was up fixing breakfast. “Ah right, everybody up. This craps gonna be cold if you all don’t get the hell up. Come on, get off your butts and eat.” Nobody can listen to Tic-Tac McJack yell and keep on sleeping. Tic-Tac McJack was the judo champion of Japan until he left to join up with the gang. He was wanted all over Japan and the world.

The gang had now sat down to eat.

“Why do we have to have the same shit every day?” argued Drake.

“Ah shut up, O’Hara! At least it holds your stomach together. So just eat,” said McJack.

They finished their breakfast and the boss held a meeting.

“Okay. Right now all we got going is the tunnel building. Now let’s start getting this thing together. Across the street from the bank is a building just a little bit higher than the bank. Hezekiah, you draw from this building to the bank on the night of the robbery. You then trolley across to the roof of the bank. You are then to make your way into the bank down where the safe is. You then take care of the police dogs, the cameras, the guards, and anything else that will hold you up.”

“Mickie, you have one of the biggest jobs. You are to drive up the street in the jeep about two blocks from the bank. If I were you, I’d drive at about 30 miles per hour. When you get two blocks from the bank, you will see a white real estate building. Throw two mollitoff cocktails on the front lawn. The building will immediately go up in flames. This will attract the cops, the fire department, and a bunch of people from down near the bank. Then you are to keep on driving and shoot every window within sight. This will also attract the cops and half the neighborhood.”

“Meanwhile, Tic-Tic has also gone across the trolley to the bank. At the same time, Junior will be cracking the safe with Drake guarding. Hezekiah, you will leave early and go through Dak-Tari. Then you will meet me, Drake, Junior, and Tic-Tac behind the bank. We will then switch cars and get into a black sedan. We’ll go to the airport and catch a plane to Mexico and that’s it. Start your separate planning tonight. Rest. You’ll need it.”

* Written by AP and illustrated by VB